Just A Mistake
by yumewolf-chan
Summary: Songfic AU Syaoran left Sakura. Did Syaoran make a mistake? Will Sakura give him a second chance after feeling so hurt? To what extends will Syaoran go to get Sakura back? SS, maybe ET
1. Chapter 1: Just Want You To Know

A.N. Hey, guys! This is a new fic…my first songfic…most likely a four-part series. Some of the lyrics don't exactly fit, so I'm doing the best I can. Hope you all enjoy it!

Disclaimer: CCS and all the characters are not mine. This song, 'Just Want You To Know' is and owned by Backstreet Boys, not me…

Dedicated to: Kyu-chan (UserID: Mizuki Kyuuka), Fuji-chan (UserID: tennis-tensai), Kazumi-chan (UserID: anime+mangafreak), Mona-chan (UserID: mikigurl)

Guide

**Bold:** **Thoughts and title of song**

_Italics: Lyrics, P.O.V and flashbacks_

Chapter 1: Just Want You To Know

**"Just Want You To Know" by Backstreet Boys**

_Sakura's P.O.V_

**Syaoran left me**,I thought, staring out the window, looking at the night's sky, tears rolling down my cheeks.

_Flashback_

"Sakura," Syaoran said as we were walking home together from school.

I looked at him. He had some sort of expression on his face, the kind that I cannot explain, but it was an expression I didn't really want to see. But I didn't expect him to say what he said next.

"Sakura, why don't we cool off for a while?" he said, not quite meeting my gaze.

"Why?" I said. I couldn't keep the frostiness out of my voice.

"Well, maybe we'd be better of alone…or perhaps you'll find someone better than me," he said, looking away when I looked straight into his eyes.

**I don't want anyone else but you**, I screamed mentally. I could feel my heart shattering. The pain that I felt was excruciating.

"Okay. I guess this is it," I said, not looking at him as I walked away. He grabbed my arm as I left. I turned around.

"I'm sorry, Sakura. Can we still be friends?" he asked. I didn't say anything. I felt I was being selfish. I can't stop him from finding happiness in his life. So I nodded and walked away.

But as soon as I thought I was out of his sight, I couldn't stop the tears that were falling. **Are you happy now that you got what you want? **

_(End flashback)_

_  
Looking at your picture from when we first met_

I pulled at all my drawers till I found a photo of a couple of days after when we first met. He was scowling while everyone was smiling. I started to laugh, cause he looked so funny, but after I laughed, I started crying. **I wish I could turn back time**.

_You gave me a smile that I could never forget_

I remembered the rare times he smiled at me. I could never forget those smiles, because most of the time he was always scowling or looking normal, until those expressions sort of became part of his face. But when he smiled, his smiles were practically infectious.

_And nothing I could do could protect me from you that night_

That night. The night where I confessed I liked him. He hugged me. That night was perfect. We managed to capture the card, and I finally admitted I like him. I think we were the happiest people around then.

_Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind_

I can't stop thinking about you. It's impossible to stop thinking about you. Nearly everything I see reminds me of you. I still have to see you at school anyway.

_  
The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night  
_

I couldn't forget those times where we stayed up all night to capture the cards. Those times seemed so far away now.

_Yeah, you and I were everything, everything to me  
_

However much I want you to be happy, I still missed you. That's what you were. You meant everything to me. **Did I mean anything to you at all? **I climbed on my bed and fell asleep, exhausted after crying so much.

_Dream_

"Sakura, want to go to the skating rink after school today?" Syaoran asked.

"Sure," I said.

After school, I headed to the skating rink with him. We skated together. He fell a couple of times and we laughed together.

Then, everybody at the skating rink froze except us.

"Do you feel it?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. The presence of the card was obvious.

_(End dream)_

I woke up, expecting to find myself at the skating rink. Then I realized it was a dream. I had wanted it to be real. I lied on my back, staring at the ceiling. I fell asleep again soon after that.

_All the doors are closing I'm tryin' to move ahead_

The next few days were torturous. Everytime I saw him, I could have cried. But I didn't. I had life before him, and I can have life after him. I don't want to move on. I just want to hold on to those moments forever. But I have to move on.

_And deep inside I wish it's me instead_

I knew he said that we'll be friends. But there's some sort of rift between us. We greet each other when we meet, but we rarely talk. The pain I felt since the day he left me still remains. **I wish it was me**, I said, seeing him talk with Meiling, occasionally smiling and laughing.

_My dreams are empty from the day, the day you slipped away_

Since that day, I had dreamless sleep. And each morning, when I wake up, I don't know what to look forward to. There is nothing.

So far, I haven't told anyone about our breakup. Not even Tomoyo.

"Sakura, is there anything wrong between you and Syaoran?" she asked, one day, when we were walking home, about a week after that day. I didn't answer, my eyes filling up with tears. I haven't cried since that day, and it was a relief to cry the tears I've been holding back.

"Sakura…what did he do to you?" she asked quietly.

I told her everything, in between tears.

"What?" she said, gaping in surprise, "I'm gonna…"

She walked up to Syaoran, who was walking far behind us. I didn't look, but I could hear her.

"Li Syaoran! I can't believe you did that!" she yelled at him icily. I turned around to look. Syaoran was standing there, a stunned expression on his face. I have never heard Tomoyo yell before; it was totally contrasting with her normally quiet personality. Tomoyo didn't wait for an answer; she just turned around and caught up with me.

"Wow," was the only thing I managed to say.

"I had a lot more I wanted to say to him. But that was all that came out when I started to say something. Sorry," she said.

"If you need to talk about anything, you know you can always talk to me," she continued.

I nodded. I felt a bit better after pouring out all my feelings, everything to someone.

_I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go  
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end  
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me  
But still I have to say I would do it all again  
Just want you to know_

_That since I lost you, I lost myself  
No I can't fake it, there's no one else_

I just want you to know  
That I've been fighting to let you go  
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end  
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me  
But still I have to say I would do it all again  
Just want you to know

That I've been fighting to let you go  
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end  
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me  
But still I have to say I would do it all again  
Just want you to know

I wanted to let you go, but at the same time I was holding back. The scar he left was still fresh, and the pain was still there. I made it through most of the days, but there were nights that never end. I couldn't sleep, and I kept thinking of him. I desperately wanted to believe that some day we'll be together again. No matter how much pain I felt now, if I was given a chance, I'll do it all over again. Since I lost you, I lost myself. I can hardly concentrate on anything, and I rarely laugh or smile.

I wrote a note to him a couple of days later, and stuffed it in his bag when he wasn't looking.

_Syaoran,_

_I just wanted you to know that if I was given a chance, I'll do everything all over again._

_Sakura_

A.N: I know I haven't written anything for a long time. Gomen (sorry)! I'm a bit rusty now, so I hope this fic will match up to the others I have written. Please review.


	2. Chapter 2: Over Her

A.N: It's been nine months since I wrote another chapter of this songfic. Sorry! I hope you enjoy this chapter though. This chapter is based on the song "Over Her" by Backstreet Boys. Looks like I'm doing a BSB medley songfics or something though…and many thanks to Kyu-chan, for helping with the editing of the lyrics, the chapter, etc, etc, etc…

Disclaimer: CCS and everything related to it does not belong to me. Can you imagine _me_ being anything compared to CLAMP? The song 'Over Her' is by Backstreet Boys. Any changes to the lyrics are not meant to defame the song or BSB.

Dedicated to: Kyu-chan, Fuji-chan, Kazumi-chan, Mona-chan, and all my reviewers! Thanks so much for your reviews: KuraLi, Samantha, Biweinchan (I didn't copy off anyone's plot…but thanks for telling me there are similar stories), Kazumi (it's been ages since I communicated with you, so sorry), Little Fuji and j.

Guide

**Bold:****Thoughts and title of song**

_Italics: Lyrics, P.O.V and flashbacks_

Chapter 2: Over Her

**"Over Her" by Backstreet Boys**

_Syaoran's P.O.V_

_You know I been trying to figure out  
Just what's going on  
_(A_m I over her?_)

_I been doing a lot of thinking lately  
_(_Am I over her?_)

_It's been 2 months, 4 hours, 2 days  
Since my decision to bring this to an end  
And I'm caught up in reminiscing  
Having faithful visions of long walks, long talks  
Play fights, late nights  
It's been on my mind since the end of those times  
When I had your heart and I let it slide_

A lot of thinking would be an understatement. My thoughts, my dreams, they all have a similar trait. They're mostly about Sakura.

I wanted a separation, so I told her it's over. That's supposed to be _The End_. I don't understand why I'm thinking about it so much, reviving past memories when we were together. Especially images of what her face looked like when I broke it off with her. As much as I hated to admit it, it did hurt me a bit to see her like that. Even our 'friendship' seems to be going down the drain. I can't look at her in the eyes anymore, and she definitely is avoiding me.

Eriol insists that I'm living in denial. Tomoyo hates me. You should see the way her eyes narrow whenever I walk pass her. It kinda unnerving. But, I, of all people, the one who broke up with Sakura, should know what I'm doing is right. But when someone does something right, it's supposed to feel good, so why am I feeling so rotten?

_Tomoyo's P.O.V_

_Jerk_, I thought as I saw Syaoran chatting with Meiling, looking like they were having a great time. Then I looked at Sakura, who was trying to move on and be cheerful, hiding all her feelings and not letting them show. But I know she had taken the separation to heart.

I glanced again at Syaoran and Meiling. Suddenly, I had an idea. _Why haven't I thought of this before? _I pulled my friend, a senior in high school, Reiji, aside, whispered to him for awhile. I introduced Reiji to Sakura, then left them be. Reiji has a great sense of humour, and I'm sure he and Sakura will get along just fine.

I ducked behind some bushes and watched Sakura and Reiji talking. Sakura was cracking up at Reiji's jokes while Syaoran was watching them. There wasn't any expression on his face, he just stared. _You think she cannot move on without you, huh, idiot?_ Well, actually, she hasn't been showing that she's moving on much, but hopefully, that will all change in no time.

_Syaoran's P.O.V_  
(_Am I over her?_)_  
_(_Am I over her?_)_  
_(_Am I over her?_)_  
Tell me am I really over my love (am I over her?)  
I can't think straight  
Cause I'm too busy thinking of her  
Am I really over my love?_

_I was going through some things that I couldn't explain  
Now my situation's taking a big change  
They say the grass is greener on the other side of town  
Now I'm kinda wishing you would come back around  
_(_Is she sad or is she mad?_)_  
_(_Does she have a new man; does she have it like that?_)_  
It's been so long; thought I would've moved on  
Could've been strong and picked up the telephone_

I felt an unknown pang hit me as I watched Sakura and some boy acting like they've known each other for years. _It was just the way we used to be_. No one actually knew what initiated our break-up.

_(Flashback)_

"Syaoran, if you continue going out with Sakura, I'll cut you off from the will, and you have to leave the house. There'll be no connection between you and the Li family from then onwards. There are so many much suitable girls for you out there. You have two choices: the family, or her?" my mother said, giving me the ultimatum. I had a week to decide.

I couldn't care that I would be cut off from the will. Actually, it would be better, because I know I could make it on my own. But Sakura would never be happy being with me, knowing that she doesn't have my mother's blessings. And my famil did mean something to me.

_(End flashback)_

But that was just the beginning of this whole thinking that we-were-not-meant-to-be thing.

_(Flashback)_

"Hey, you've been going out with Sakura for a long time, right?" Masato said. I nodded in reply.

"Long time relationships are definitely not for me. I just don't hold out that long. What happened to the field-playing Syaoran who used to date all the time with no commitments?" he continued.

I thought of all those times, which seemed so far away. Sakura had changed all that. But maybe I've gone out with Sakura for much too long. I didn't feel that there was any more sparks in our relationship.

The more I thought of it, the more I wanted to be single again, with no obligations towards anyone.

_(End flashback)_

All the signs seem to be pointing that Sakura and I were never meant to be together.

So, in the end, I broke up with Sakura, convincing myself that I didn't want to hurt her more than I already did by going out with someone behind her back. Furthermore, there were my mother's non-available blessings to Sakura. The fact that my mother thought she wasn't good enough for me was going to hurt her even more.

Well, nothing went according to plan. I didn't play the field. There were Meiling and other girls that were trying to close in on me, but I just ignored them. This made me rethink about my decision over and over again.

_Is that her new boyfriend?_ This was the first time I had seen them together though.

_I ask myself time and time again (again I'm trying to comprehend that)  
Unanswered questions still (things to be are meant to end)  
It's water under the bridge  
But I can't seem to forget  
All the plans we made, all the time we spent  
Makes me reminisce  
I still see your face  
All this love I can't replace  
_(_Am I over_)

(_Am I over her?_)

_Tomoyo's P.O.V_

I had managed to persuade Sakura to sign-up with me for a student exchange program. At first, she didn't want to. But I told her she needed a break from all this (the school, the idiot, everything that reminded her of him, etc.) She finally agreed to register for the program (So did Reiji).

After the two-week school break (starting two weeks from now), the program will be on for two months. We had a school collaborating with us in Tokyo. Sakura, Reiji and I were assured that we will get places in the program. They cut off the line after two people behind Reiji and Sakura (I already registered). Hopefully, by the time Sakura gets back, she would have found someone else. Meanwhile, I had also arranged that Sakura stay with me during the last few weeks of school and school term break. I am gonna make sure Syaoran gets no where near her.

_Syaoran's P.O.V_

As I watched them (Sakura, that guy and Tomoyo) sign-up for that student-exchange program thing, I was even surer that I had made a messed-up decision to call it off.

As soon as I reached home, I pulled out a note I had shoved under a pile of dusty books on the bookshelf. It was a note from Sakura which I had never opened. I thought it'll be easier to forget her that way. I knew it was from her as soon as I saw her familiar handwriting on the front that said: _To Syaoran_.

It was just one sentence. I read it slowly. _Sakura, I would do it again too, without the part that I dumped you. I've been a total idiotic jerk. I wish you and me were still together._

I replayed my last thought: _I wish you and me were still together._ I finally realized that I had been wrong all this while. I could've called her, but I couldn't. I wasn't good enough for her. The break-up I initiated was enough to prove me right. But was it really too late?

_Not over not over my love  
Not over not over my love  
I'm not over not over my love  
Am I over her?  
Not over not over my love._

A.N: I mentioned last chapter that it was possibly going to be a four-part series. But the story will end at the next chapter. I hope this didn't move so fast or anything. Please read and review!


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